That Dreaded Four Letter Word

F-E-A-R!

This unassuming little emotion can come up from nowhere and grip you so tightly to paralyze you before you know what has happened. It can happen just before an important meeting. Or before you are going to make that momentous presentation. Or when you need to be picking up that telephone to make those calls. Or before you pop the question.

It often rears its ugly head at the most inopportune of times and blindside you. Or cripple you rendering you ineffective.

How do you deal with it?

I remember in college, going on a "Wilderness Adventure" experience with a bunch of other freshmen and transfers. To prepare new college entrants the institution offered a course that involved a mountain climbing experience, a hike through the woods and a ropes course to teach lessons on dealing with stress, resolving problems and to build confidence in each other as well as in oneself. Lessons that are all very necessary to college and life as well.

One of the activities we were introduced was a "Totem Pole" exercise. There was a fifty foot telephone pole. Once we got our safety harness on (to catch us if we should slip and fall), we are supposed to climb this pole, and then stand up on one foot-by-one foot platform. About twelve or fifteen feet from the platform is a larger platform with a ladder leading from it that one can climb down to safety on the ground. In order to reach this platform, one has to jump and catch a hold of a bar that is just slightly out of reach and swing across to the other platform.

Sounds easy enough.

I was up onto the totem pole in no time. Once I got to the top, I was breathing quite heavily and the heart was beating rapidly from the strenuous effort of climbing up 50 feet. I sat down on the platform and suddenly realized that I was actually so far high up from the ground. My heart raced a little! Then I realized that there was a steady breeze blowing and the pole was actually swaying side to side as I sat out there. I took a deep breath and prepared to stand up on the platform in order to jump off it, grab the swing and get across to the larger platform and on to safety.

But to my chagrin I realized that my legs were weighted down! The adrenalin rushing through my system along with the acrophobia from the high altitude combined to grip me with immobolizing fear. I could not lift my legs up!

From below, my teammates were cheering me on and encouraging me, but my legs would not budge! I could not stand up! I pleaded with the leader to allow me to climb down but she told me that there were only two ways for me to come down. One was to get across to the platform and climb down the ladder or the next would be to fall off and be caught by the harness and then be lowered to the ground. Under no circumstances could I climb down the pole!

After what seemed an eternity, I agreed to fall off the platform because I just could not get myself to stand up! My leader challenged me to fall backwards as that was another experience of trust. I did that, but as I fell backwards and then was caught by the harness it suddenly occured to me that I was actually quite irrational. Fear had so overcome me that I wasn't thinking right!

Why was I so afraid of standing up? I was afraid I would fall! Then what was I doing then? I was falling! What craziness! So, as soon as I was lowered to ground level, I begged the leader to let me try again, climb right back up the pole, stand and jump to grab the swing and swing across to the other side. This time I was able to do it without much hesitation and with much cheering from all my teammates!

You see, I was so fearful that I began to imagine wild things that would happen to me and fear so sidetracked me that I wasn't thinking right anymore. So, next time you are fearful, stop to ask yourself. What are you afraid of? Feel the fear and do it anyway!

The Importance of Alignment

Several years ago, someone robbed our house while we slept! I will always remember that night. It was a warm, muggy evening in Perth, Western Australia. The temperatures were in the high 30's on the Celsius gauge (that's nearly 100 degrees Fahrenheit). I had been working in a room with a window facing the front yard. I had opened the window to let the air in as it was getting unbearably stuffy and hot as I worked.

When I decided to turn in for the night, I forgot to close the windows. In the middle of the night, my wife and I were rudely awakened by flashlights shone onto our eyes. As I peered out of my sleepiness, I heard these rough voices barking behind the flashlights, "Police! Police! Wake up! Wake up!"

At first I thought some crazy friends were playing a joke on us. I even entertained the thought that we might have been victims of some shock segment of a popular late night TV show.

However these fleeting thoughts were quickly squashed when I realized that they were the voices of a couple of real life cops who had evidently entered our home. Apparently, they were called by a passing taxi driver who saw the front yard of our house strewn with our belongings, and our front door wide open.

You see, burglars had crept into our house while we slept through the opened window, and had taken out our drawers and chests and emptied them in the front yard, looking for cash or valuables.

By the time the cops woke us, almost every room in the house had been ransacked. We were shocked out of our minds and devastatingly overwhelmed with feelings of having been violated.

You can imagine that I was very much tuned in to security consciousness in the next couple of days. So when I heard a radio advertisement for a residential security system, I quickly jotted down the phone number and called for an appointment.

I got a busy signal. Their ads must have been too effective! So I called my wife to ask her to call while I went to my business meeting. My wife called and spoke to a receptionist who responded that someone would call back. We waited a couple of days for the callback, but no one did. So my wife called again, getting the same assurance. Yet another day passed and no one had called. So my wife tried again the next day, and this time explained that she had already called twice earlier. The telephonist became defensive. She told my wife that everyone was busy so she should just be patient and wait! But, no one ever did call back.

Neither did us! We decided to take our business elsewhere!

Here was the issue: that company failed to align their systems and their team with the message of their ad campaign.

They may have a brilliant product. They may have a compelling message. But, if their system fails them (my call couldn’t get through the first time I called), and then their people do not follow through, and worse yet, even turn people off(!), then the company has failed to realize the full potential of their investment.

This works the same for any team: whether you’re an athletic team, or a group, or even a family, you need to align your vision, and know your shared goals so that you can pull together to leverage each other in order to achieve what you all desire together.

It is espcially critical that there is alignment in a business. For instance, many business leaders talk about empowerment. They talk it, they believe in it, but when it comes to practice, the empowerment may not be fully executed because the systems and structures within the business organization inhibit empowerment of the employees in critical ways. If employees do not have access to critical information, for instance, they are then not truly empowered to act in the best interest of clients and/or their company. If they are permited access to key information, but the systems fail them, then the empowerment may just be "all talk" and turn out to be "pseudo-empowerment". Worse yet, if the talk about empowerment is not followed up with business practices and attitudes among both the executive and line management that are empowering.

So, what do you think? Do you have examples to share where a misalignment between the vision, systems and people affects the effectiveness of the group? Or do you have anything to add to the above, or any comments? I appreciate your feedback!

Information as Differentiator

Quoted in this post at Fast Company Blog is this thought provoker from Microsoft's Bill Gates:

"The most meaningful way to differentiate your company from your competition, the best way to put distance between yourself and the crowd, is to do an outstanding job with information. How you gather, manage, and use information will determine whether you win or lose."

Suppose Gates is right in his assessment, then what do you think are the most critical information that is required to differentiate your organization in order to secure your success?

Today we deal with an overexposure to information, or perhaps, more accurately, an overexposure to data. It seems that there is an incredible amount of information that is generated everyday.

For instance, in running a business, you have information about your business transactions, about your products and processes, about your customers, about your customer interactions, about your people and you can get all sorts of information about the industry, the marketplace, the economy and the environment.

How do you prioritize what information is pertinent or critical to your success?

What processes do you employ to gather the information, to process it, to manage it and then to be able to effectively use it in your organization?

How do you dessiminate this information through your ranks and through to your constituents? Finally, how much does packaging plays a part in the success factor?

The Importance of Alignment

Several years ago, someone robbed our house while we slept! I will always remember that night. It was a warm, muggy evening in Perth, Western Australia. The temperatures were in the high 30's on the Celsius gauge (that's nearly 100 degrees Fahrenheit). I had been working in a room with a window facing the front yard. I had opened the window to let the air in as it was getting unbearably stuffy and hot as I worked.

When I decided to turn in for the night, I forgot to close the windows. In the middle of the night, my wife and I were rudely awakened by flashlights shone onto our eyes. As I peered out of my sleepiness, I heard these rough voices barking behind the flashlights, "Police! Police! Wake up! Wake up!"

At first I thought some crazy friends were playing a joke on us. I even entertained the thought that we might have been victims of some shock segment of a popular late night TV show.

However these fleeting thoughts were quickly squashed when I realized that they were the voices of a couple of real life cops who had evidently entered our home. Apparently, they were called by a passing taxi driver who saw the front yard of our house strewn with our belongings, and our front door wide open.

You see, burglars had crept into our house while we slept through the opened window, and had taken out our drawers and chests and emptied them in the front yard, looking for cash or valuables.

By the time the cops woke us, almost every room in the house had been ransacked. We were shocked out of our minds and devastatingly overwhelmed with feelings of having been violated.

You can imagine that I was very much tuned in to security consciousness in the next couple of days. So when I heard a radio advertisement for a residential security system, I quickly jotted down the phone number and called for an appointment.

I got a busy signal. Their ads must have been too effective! So I called my wife to ask her to call while I went to my business meeting. My wife called and spoke to a receptionist who responded that someone would call back. We waited a couple of days for the callback, but no one did. So my wife called again, getting the same assurance. Yet another day passed and no one had called. So my wife tried again the next day, and this time explained that she had already called twice earlier. The telephonist became defensive. She told my wife that everyone was busy so she should just be patient and wait! But, no one ever did call back.

Neither did us! We decided to take our business elsewhere!

Here was the issue: that company failed to align their systems and their team with the message of their ad campaign.

They may have a brilliant product. They may have a compelling message. But, if their system fails them (my call couldn’t get through the first time I called), and then their people do not follow through, and worse yet, even turn people off(!), then the company has failed to realize the full potential of their investment.

This works the same for any team: whether you’re an athletic team, or a group, or even a family, you need to align your vision, and know your shared goals so that you can pull together to leverage each other in order to achieve what you all desire together.

Executing a Turn-Around

Sometimes we have a setback in life. It might be during a sports match, or a slump in business, a career stagnation or even a lay-off. Sometimes it might even be a dry patch in a relationship, or worse. It is during such times that we need to take a step back and focus on how to rebound so that we are not drawn into a downward spiral of despair and despondency.

Here are some ideas to help you focus on a resurgence:

(1) Focus on the Long Term Goal.
Remember what you are setting out to achieve. While you are going through the downtrend, things may look bleak and you are not able to focus. It is important, though, to take the time to step back and focus on the end goal. Perhaps the thing to do here is to just take out your previous plans and goals and re-read them. They may now seem incredulous and unrealistic, but it is a good reminder that you are not where you want to be, and you still have that vision in you to dream great things.

Just a few years ago, I found myself in a situation where I had nothing. I had no job, no source of income, no prospects and everywhere I turn seemed to end in a dead-end. It was extremely difficult for me to even think of finding a job, let alone dream the big dreams I had only a year or two before then. Still, I reminded myself that it was a temporary situation, alhtough I did know for how long. I kept the end goal alive, even if it was just a small flickering flame somewhere down in the depths of my being.

(2) Remember you are not your results.
That is why you need to realize that you are more than the results of your own performance. Sometimes we get too intricately identified with our results. If you are a student, you are identified by the grades that your teachers hand out at the end of a term. You are called an "A" student or a "C" student. But, there is no such thing as an "A" student or a "C" student. You are not your results.

I don't care whether you are a Tiger Woods or a Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards (the Olympian Ski Jumper famed for consistently placing last in competition). You are not your results. Unfortunately, the achievement ethics of our modern societies have incorrectly identified people by their achievements.

We need to realize that all of us have the ability to perform and to achieve. What we all need are just the right mindset, strategies, skills, and execution. Towards that end, we may have to unlearn our old ways of doing things and our habits, and to learn new ones. We may have to take on a coach to help mentor us. But the important lesson we need to learn first of all is that we are more complex than the results of our activities.

(3) Focus on the Basics.
Every sports team know what it means to experience a slump. Professional sports people know that in order to overcome the period of consistent losing or under-par performance is to go back to basics.

I watched briefly the game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Golden State Warriors the other night. Kobe Bryant had played the whole evening long, and had only posted up about twelve points and the Lakers were down by about 10 points early in the fourth quarter. Bryant and the Lakers did not lose sight of their goal and went back to basics. It was a focus on defence and executing the plays that they have practiced so much. They managed to tie the game and eventually win it in overtime.

Of course, real life may not be like a sports game, and even in sports, you may not achieve your desired goal during the course of a match.

(4) Manage the Activities Not the Results
The previous two lessons underscore the fact that we can only manage what is within our control. And that includes our mindset, our thinking patterns, our attitudes, and the activities that we do each day or each moment (each play). That is why when professional sports people fail, or when they lose a game, or a quarter, or a play, they know instinctively to get up, ready for the next play. There is no need, or even time, to grovel or blubber over the undesired previous result. There is another match, or another season to take on.

In the same way, we need to tackle our business, our relationship or our life. There is another quarter to play, or another project to focus on.

(5) Set up an Accountability System.
This is most important when the going gets tough and we are dealing with personal or relationship issues. It is difficult to motivate yourself to consistently do the small things that will bring you the result that you desire. In business, it is a little easier: you can set up effective management systems so that there is accountability throughout the organizational structure. If you are dealing with a personal or relationship issue, you must get like-minded people around you in order to be accountable to each other.

Over the past two years, my relationship with my teenaged daughter, who is a high school junior, had taken a few bumps. We used to be very close to each other when she was younger, but once she entered her teens, we experienced some relational and communication challenges that drove a wedge between us. Recently, we made a commitment to change that and to foster a stronger bond between us.

I realized that this means effort on my part. One of the commitments I made was to simply drop anything I am doing when I was talking with her, and make eye contact. That was such a simple thing to do. I realized that this was not going to happen if I just made that commitment to myself. So I told my daughter that this was what I was committed to. Now, she becomes my accountability partner. For I have committed myself to do something that she is now aware of it. So, whenever she comes to me to talk about school, or even to ask a question, I realized I must put down the book I am reading, or veer my eyes from the PC or the TV screen and engage her with full concentration and communicate.

The above are not the only things you need to do when faced with a downturn, but I hope you have gleaned some ideas that you can apply for yourself.

Perhaps you have other ideas also, and if you do I would appreciate it if you post your suggestions in the comments.